To the Mom with Older Kids: from your younger self
Disclaimer: I'm a mom of older kids and a baby so feel in between. Wrote this to myself. (:
Dear Mom with Older Kids,
I see you ogling my baby from across the aisle. Smiling, remembering the sweet cuddles of your chunky, soft babe and thier warm, fuzzy head on your cheek like it were just this morning. You walk past me in Target and say, "enjoy them, it goes by fast." To which I internally eye roll and think, "not fast enough, I'm barely surviving over here."
You see mom of older kids, you forgot a little. You have enough brain capacity to have a thought of your own now. Your kids might be five or ten and sleeping through the night. You are sleeping. They are buckling themselves and putting on their own shoes. You only remember the sweet, good parts of the little years because your brain was literally smooshed for the first 12-24 months. The smiles, the chunky thighs, the puppy eyes- that is all our brains let us remember. Us moms with little ones are still in the trenches fighting the physically hard mothering stage.
Fighting for more than 2 hours of sleep per night.
Fighting to have enough silence to think our own thoughts.
Fighting for all the babies and toddler to nap at the same time so we can breathe.
Fighting to remember what day or time it is because it all runs together.
Fighting to feel like a person who wears real pants or makeup.
Fighting to keep the peace among constantly fighting siblings.
Fighting the mess under the table, in the toy room and on my shirt.
Fighting for time alone at a store or in the shower or even in the bathroom for five minutes.
You see mom of older kids, you forgot a little.
The loneliness. The constant wondering if you are doing this right. The inability to care for ourselves well. The frustration. The constant feeling of being overwhelmed. The utter and sheer neediness of little people every single minute. The drained feeling with teary, tired eyes saying, "somebody tell me I am doing okay at this."
You see mom with older kids, we need you.
We need you to keep reminding us how fast the little years go.
We need you to let us see that it won't always be so very difficult and heavy.
We need you to let us see you becoming yourself again, dreaming, doing, growing.
We need you to look at us with eyes of grace and forgiveness for our messy hair, short tempers and lost eyes.
We need you to see us and see yourself in us when your babies were tiny.
We need you to remember.
We need you.
Come alongside us an encourage us today. Encourage.
Not make us feel bad for not enjoying every single moment. Encourage.
So moms with older kids, keep oogling my baby and say a kind word.
Moms of little people, there is hope. It gets easier. It is still hard when they are older but it is different hard.
Moms need each other. High fives all around to all the mothers of every stage. Let's cheer each other on and remember each stage has it's growing pains. Each stage of gritty, hard work gives birth to newfound glory covered in brilliant and amazing joy.
You are growing into a beautiful, grace filled mother. You are doing okay. You are.
"Therefore encourage one another and build each other up, just as in fact you are doing." 1 Thess 5:11
"Strive for full restoration, encourage one another, be of one mind, live in peace. And the God of love and peace will be with you." 2 Cor 13:11
Read Titus 2 :)