Bad mom day

Good Days vs Bad Days

Wednesday, September 17, 2014

Today was a good day.

You know, the kind that makes this whole motherhood thing worth it.
The kind that starts to heal over all those tender, open wounds of feeling like a writhing failure as a mother. That you are messing up your kids. That you cannot seem to get it together. The wounds that if left untreated will be poured salt upon day after day after day and only worsen with time.

We moms need these good days to be balms of healing ointment for our souls. To remind us our kids are joys. To look in their sparkling blue eyes and feel that bubbling over, deep love you never knew you could have. We need these good days. 

Sometimes we need to find them amidst the bad ones. 
Sometimes we just need a moment.

You know, those rough days where you had to sleep with a wiggly toddler and only had eyes closed "sleep" that never really made it to real sleep. Where you wake up to screaming and demanding of sustinence at 6am. Where you trip over toys, fight over meals, forget things, drop things, are late to work, where you yell and feel that drop in your soul for it. Where you find a week old banana covered in fruit flies in your couch. Where you give and give and work and pour out more of yourself then you thought you had left and it is still not enough. Those days, when they happen day in and out for weeks and weeks can wear on your very soul. They can make you more irritable. More wounded and in need of healing than ever.



What kind of day did you have? Have you had lately?

I'll admit it. Mine haven't been the greatest lately. I have seen improvements the last few days and today was just a joy.

Let me share my secret. 

I took care of myself.
Gasp.
The horror if a mother caring for herself. 
I honestly haven't done this well in years. Years people. I feel guilt when I do. 

Over the last three days I worked out. I wrote. I read the Bible. I prayed for my children, my husband and myself. I prayed for our future. I spent some real quality time with my dark and handsome husband. I listened to music. I spent over an hour this morning in am empty house (rare people!) doing nothing but eating a few cookies and watching a morning show. I didn't clean. I took a deep breath. Most of all, I did all of these things slowly and without rush. I did them with intention. 

Find something that makes you feel you. Not momma. Painting, writing, photography, reading. Take care of yourself. I was such a better mom today for it. I was more patient, quiet talking, and just happy. They deserve that kind if mom. I deserve it too. I need to slap that mom guilt in the face and just take care of my self. You too. You too!!

Start now. If even only for a moment. Allow Jesus to some in and start glazing over your wounded mothering heart with His balm of peace, love, joy, patience, self control and gentleness. Let Him take care of you then you take care of you. You will become a better momma for it. You will. Go. Now.

Honestly with love,
Rach



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