I Vacuum in Heels
Hi there wives.
Hi there husbands.
I rarely wear heels, even to work. I actually vacuum in sweats or flip flops.
Normally I only vacuum to prevent ants from devouring the smooshed Cheerios in the carpet.
Here is what I am really wondering...
How do you divy up household stuff at your place?
Bill paying, baby rocking, dishes, cooking, lawn mowing, disciplining kids, grocery shopping all that stuff that you need to do to make your sweet lil world go round.
Do you feel the divvying up you do now is fair?
Do you talk or fight about it? Do you keep tabs on who does the most?
If I am honest, I do keep tabs. I shouldn't. I'm sure you do too- be honest!! ;)
When we first got married, it was a regular topic of heated debate.
I felt overwhelmed and consumed by doing it all.
Over the years he got better at helping out, I loosened up.
We were thrown into parenting boot camp upside down with no idea what we were in for with two preemie babies with reflux who liked to cry.
Our parents and family were, and still are, our lifelines.
However the every day in day out monotony of eat, burp, play, poop, sleep, cry overtakes you and the household stuff falls to the wayside. We had to be a team to survive.
Then one day, I went somewhere (gasp) and Paul had those cute baby twins to himself all the live long day.
And there you have it ladies, respect.
Respect for all the juggling we do.
Respect for the giving of yourself, insessint touching, never ending dishes, laundry and dirty floors that you clean anyway while holding babies. The food that needs made three or four times a day.
He got it.
Trust your hubby enough to let him take care of your littles for a day or two please friend. He will do fine. He will survive. Your kiddos will survive. Let him see what you do every day. In return, you put yourself in his shoes. Get into each other's real worlds and love each other there.
The good news at my house today is, my husband carries a heavy load of household/kid duties despite working a lot of hours. Statistics say husbands who do so are happier, their wives are happier and their children grow up with a better work ethic and respect for others. He does not babysit, he fathers. He is very present in their lives and they adore him. He loves us like Christ loves the church. He gives himself up for us. (see Ephesians 5 below)
When he is tired and has been at work until 1100 pm on a Tuesday and I am rocking a child when he gets home- he makes lunches for school or rocks the baby.
When I had a hard day at work and have a headache, he takes over kid duty when he gets home.
When I was pregnant for two years straight, he rubbed my back every single night.
He leads us by example. He is a true example of Christ's love to us. I adore him deeply for it as do my boys. In turn, I want to serve him in the same way. He serves me, I serve him. It's cyclical. It's loving. We teach our kids sharing, we should practice it too. It's a definition of a mutual, life giving relationship.
Working a lot less hours outside the home than my husband, I take on bigger load inside the home and with the trio if toddlers. Whatever your current situation is, talk about it with your spouse. Don't just grumble under your breath and hope he sees you are stressed. Air your struggles and divide and conquer the parenting and household duties. When life changes and one of you needs more help in an area, say so.
The laundry, dishes, cooking, and grocery shopping will always be there. Love each other today. Serve each other. Say, "thank you" for as many little things as you can. The appreciation will reap rewards you won't believe. Stop assuming dad's are the same today as in 1950. Luckily they aren't. Dads are and can be capable, loving, helpful and irreplaceable leaders in our homes. Dad's that aren't, in my opinion, need to step up and read what God says about that, like today. Look at Ephesians 5 below with your spouse and talk with God about how He wants it to work it out in your home. Where can you grow? Where can he? Mutual servant hood, mutual love, mutual. So kick off your heels (or flip flops) and have a heart to heart tonight with your spouse about who is gonna vacuum up the smooshed in Cheerios this time. ;)
Honestly with love,
Please take a moment to read this: