Sigh. Ventilation...

Tuesday, June 19, 2012

Good days and bad days ebb and flow in this house as it does I am sure in most. I have discovered my attitude really helps determine the outlook on the day and situations. Its like I'm mustering up all the happy, feel good positive patience i have to get through my day. I am running out. I am close to E. My energy is lacking and my mustering up is scrounging around scraping the bottom of the barrel.
I am desperately trying to be a patient, encouraging, affectionate mother amidst twin two year olds whining because they cannot adequately verbalized their needs nor do they understand how the world works yet. Meanwhile I also have a baby who cries if I leave his sight. I am trying to work in the office, work from home every free moment I have at home and then find time to clean up 65384 toy cars, dishes, laundry, food on the floor, diapers in the trash, and puke on my shirt. The cupcake biz and pauls guitar lessons and the tight finances weigh on my mind. Supporting Paul in his ministry weighs on my mind. My health and weight weigh heavily on my mind (pun intended ;)) sighhhh. I need to breathe. Oh yeah- and I have a husband too. Whom I dearly love by the way. Amazing. :)
I am living in a bit too much muchness and manyness as Foster says. "the devil thrives in noise, hurry and crowds. If he can keep you engaged in muchness and manyness he has succeeded."
I need to sweep away the vines in the way of my focus. I need to be single minded- focused on living for Jesus however that looks. It's difficult when my world is so loud, busy and hurried simply by having three kids under two in it. It's a challenge. A challenge I simply cannot face without Jesus. Lord give me energy, strength, and discernment.
Vent done.
Next, to focus on how to be more single minded....

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