My cliche mothers day post

Sunday, May 13, 2012

Standing in church today, I was remembering just a few short years ago I was standing in the same place holding back tears, childless and broken. Mothers day was a painful reminder of my long struggle. Waiting for the day I could stand when all the other moms did. Today, I was holding back happy tears, holding heavy twin boys and my heart overflowed with joy. I stood today, while holding a sleeping baby. I am a mom. Sigh. Look where God has brought our family. I had struggled for years to conceive and now have also had the blessing and opportunity to be surprised by a pregnancy too. What a blessing I did not deserve. Although motherhood is the hardest occupation I have had thus far, it is my true vocation. Insurance is my job, my occupation and what I do to pay the bills. I was born to be a mother, it's my vocation; my calling. I do not feel my life is lacking now I am a mother. My cup overflows serving, guiding and loving my children. My husband and boys are my purpose and joy. Days I often am at the end of my rope, I am sometimes not my best, and I sometimes just want a break from it all. It still all boils down at the end of the day to the warm, fuzzy love I feel when I look into those blue eyes. Oh my how it feels just simply amazing. Just thinking of them often brings a smile to my heart.

My vocation as a mother is continually stretching and filling me. Its sometimes itchy, uncomfortable and just plain ugly. Its more often an experience in true beauty, deep love and belly laughs. Your vocation calls you- creates you and fills you with Gods grace and purpose. There is still room for self discovery and balance in other things. Things that just make you happy. Smaller outlets outside your vocational world. I also find solace in baking, creating, solitude, decorating, and hospitality. I find those give me balance and focus on my souls longing for self discovery in Christ. I mix them into my family life where needed and practice them alone as well. It's been an exciting journey to find my vocation, my outlets, and my occupation. They all are different avenues that lead to the same place. I experience God in them all in different ways. I am thankful today for God unveiling himself in each of those ways. I am thankful for him being there when I was lost and directionless. Despite some depression, loneliness and tears I kept the faith and he kept his promises. Whether you have followed Gods leading and found your vocation or not, trust him. He will get you there. I am now on a journey with this newly discovered vocation that is leading me more and more toward who I am in Christ and the deep, lasting love and joy he has for me. He smiles when he thinks of me, his daughter. He is my role model parent. I mess up as a mom, and will continue to learn as I go but I know that I can just breathe in deeply, take a moment and focus on the fact I am where God wants me. Enjoy where I am and where God is growing me and directing me.

So Jude, Levi, and Ethan - you are the light of my life and my hearts delight. To my mom and Mother in law- you are my inspiration and I have learned so much by your love and grace. To my husband- my love for you grows daily. You are Gods gift to me. To the not yet moms- grow where you are and God will show you himself in his time. Trust him. To the moms- enjoy the sights of where God has you right now and revel in its joy- don't focus on the frustrations. When you serve your children you are serving God.
Have a lovely mothers day! Enjoy the day and relax!

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