alone

Practicing God's Presence #14: alone

Tuesday, January 10, 2012

All alone tonight. Paul was home for 45 minutes for dinner and back to work until bedtime. He has some exciting things going on at work. I was so nervous about giving the twins a bath and putting them to bed when it's the baby's bedtime too. Normally one of us takes the twins and the other takes the baby. We are all about schedule with three kids under 18 months old. Just when you think you are at the edge, God shows you how strong you can be with His help. Well.... I survived. With Jesus I survived.

The twins both had diaper explosions and the baby screamed the last ten minutes of bedtime while I read 'Goodnight Moon' and said prayers, but we all survived. Messy, but alive. I then headed downstairs and did it all over again with the baby. I sit here now an hour and a half later tired and surrounded by toys, dinner dishes, bottles, and the twins dinner on the dining room floor. I am procrastinating here. A lot.... I still need to pack for work tomorrow too. My job never feels done.

Now that all the boys are asleep I am here alone. I love being alone. I love the silence. I love the freedom. The silence is a little daunting though. I try to stop the constant thoughts of 'things to do' to focus on what God is whispering to me but it is easier said than done. As I do the dishes tonight alone, quiet, with only the kitchen light on and a candle, I will will try to do what brother Lawrence did. I will do menial tasks as unto the Lord, as service to my family. I will reflect on my day, my blessings, my failures, my hope for the future. I will be quiet, listen, and have a surrendered heart tonight as I stand at the kitchen sink. Well, hopefully after I quiet the crying baby that is. Off I go.....

By the way--I know a healthy heart is far more important than a clean home but, it's still nice...;)

"I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me." phil 4:13

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1 comments

  1. You are amazing! I can't get my kitchen that clean and my kids are practically grown...

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