thirty

thirty

Monday, November 07, 2011

The big three zero. It looks so much better in chocolate chip pancakes than it does when I fill out 'mothers age' on my twin's pediatrician form.
Honestly, thirty is pretty awesome.
My twenties were spent searching for what God wanted for my life, who I was to become, what job I should have and what my future held. I just wanted God to reveal to me what to do. What will I be when I grow up? Who will I be? So here I sit, grown up. I don't know when exactly it happened but I have stopped searching for those things. I know who I am and who I am in Christ. I don't know my future but am content with that. What people think matters much less than before. Throughout those twenties God showed me through various experiences that He is in control and He holds my future in His hands. I knew that, but did not grasp it as much until now. I go out in public in sweatpants, without makeup, I say things my mother said to me to my children, I buy my kids clothes instead of myself, I think about comfort more than style, my house is not spotless, I let my kids eat off the floor, I drive a minivan, I wear clothes with spit up on them, I am not defined by my job, my husband or what I look like. I do a lot of things now I would never had dared when I was twenty or even twenty five. You grow, you learn, you loosen up.
So now I am thirty.  The whole picture is starting to make sense a little bit.  I am thankful for where God has me and looking forward to the future He has for me and my family. I am no longer searching. I am held in His hand and my cup runneth over.
Thirty is great, especially in pancakes.

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