I Miss My Toes

All my mind can seem to focus on is baby. Baby, baby, baby....
I have to lean over to see my toes when standing up. They look so far away. Ha!
I thought you may enjoy a picture of what I see...

can you find my toes?

The past couple days have been interesting. I have been having really bad cramping, strong pressure and lower back pain as well as a few other labor symptoms I will spare you the details on. The contractions are irregular- so its obviously false labor. False labor sucks. I went to the doctor and I am 70% effaced (thinned out cervix) and 2 centimeters dilated. She said it could be anytime now. On one hand I wish it were now so I could get this annoying pain over with and on the other hand I hope he holds out until Tuesday when I have everything planned out.

I feel like I am ready one moment and scream, "wait! not yet!" the next. We will likely name him one of two names we have in mind once we see his face. Since I sort of pushed more for the twins names I felt like it's Paul's turn to decide. It will make him feel more a part of the process and I thought his father naming him would be special to him. I don't like the uncertainty of not knowing his name as soon as he comes out- but they will just write, "Baby Bowman" on his wrist let anyway. I have learned with having children that you just have to let certain things go- you can't control everything.

It all still feels so surreal that I will be holding a little baby in my arms any day now.  I am so excited and so scared all wrapped up into one. There is nothing more I can do to prepare then to pray, rest, and enjoy my family. How stocked the fridge is, how clean the house is, whats not in my hospital bag and how prepared my mind is simply does not matter. It will all fall into place.

Lord, I give you my plans and hand them to you. May this baby be healthy, the c-section be quick and our family grow closer to You during this season. Amen.


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