joy

Thankful

Thursday, June 23, 2011

Okay ladies and gentlemen. Let’s be honest here. Not every day is honkey dory. Sometimes when it rains, it pours- or downpours! I try to remain positive in all situations but I think it’s okay to sometimes just say, “I am having a stinky day! A stinky week! Ahhhhh!”

So here I am. “I am having a stinky day! A stinky week! Ahhhhh!”
I think this time it’s just a buildup of lots of little things and the simple fact that I am pregnant, hot, tired and my hormones are whacky. Let me rephrase that, SUPER WHACKY!

I am becoming so nervous about the fact that I will have two 14 month olds and a newborn on my hands in a few short weeks. The thought of it on some days brings joy but on others sheer doom. How will I handle it all? I barely made it through this past year with twins. Here comes no sleep, c-section healing, post-pregnancy hormones, caring for a newborn, a home and keeping two curious, toddling one year olds out of trouble. The outlook seems grim. When I dwell on it I become burdened and heavy-hearted with the possibilities. Especially since I will still be working and my husband just took on a lot of new job responsibilities at work. People always say, “God will never give you more than you can handle.” Well, I read somewhere God gives us more than we can handle all the time- so we need Him to get through.  I tend to side with the latter quote.

So after all my complaining and stating that it is okay to be irritated, nervous, and downright scared about what is going on in your life right now—I have decided to focus on the blessings. Not on the things that are not going the way I would like but on the things I am thankful for. To practice the spiritual discipline of celebration. They say that even if someone showers you with praise you always remember the one negative thing they said. So true. I don’t want to do that to God when He blesses me so. I want to dwell on the joy, the miracles, the blessings. Despite the things I may feel are not going the way I like or expect- God is still in control and still loves me and knows me down to the number of hairs on my head. I am still praying for change and grace but above all am thankful.
So here we go:
                The best husband any woman could ask for- for real
                Adorable, happy twin boys who are sources of joy in my life
                One tiny, brilliant baby kicking around in my womb I was told I would never have (not to   mention a much easier pregnancy than with the boys)
                The health of me and my family
                A calling to serve Jesus and our local church
                Amazingly wonderful and supportive parents, in-laws, and sisters/brothers
                A house we can raise our boys in
                A job where I can bring my new lovechild to work with me
                Two cars that work
                Snuggly babies who love to laugh
                Family dinners with babies covered in food and a dog to lick it up
                Sunrises in my backyard
                A husband who takes our families spiritual well being seriously
                Stretchy topped maternity jeans
                Decaf frozen Mochas
                Babies who go to bed at 7
                Hot showers
                Food on my table
                Air conditioning
               And finally, but most importantly a heavenly Father who deeply loves me, listens to my whines, fills my life with joy, and holds me when I am weak.
When I look at the big picture and all the things I am thankful for, the other things seem so much smaller.  
So what are you thankful for today?

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