You just had a baby 5 months ago. You back to yourself yet?
No. Heck no.
So why does everyone expect this?
Maternity leave is over. Lose that weight, go back to work, do all the laundry and dishes while you nurse that babe every two hours on the treadmill with siblings hanging off you. Come on- get back to it girl.
New motherhood should be a much gentler, calmer transition don't you think?
Surrounded in grace, support and peacefulness. It should be slow and calm.
I want to reject society's pull for me to jump back into my old self when I'm not the same.
The transition to life with a new baby is joyfully traumatic--like driving in a new place, in a new car, with no directions and you have a crying baby in the car. You are both learning the road, adjusting mirrors, getting to know each other and how to make it through the day without crashing. In my case, I also have three loud tinies farting and throwing fits in the back seat. It is physically exhausting, mentally draining, hormonally challenging, and anxiety ridden all wrapped up in beauty the first year or so after a baby is born. Most days I am just surviving the day. I know it's just a season. I know I won't be so very tired, weary, stressed and overwhelmed soon. I know.
Until then, you and I are here.
Until then, bask in the glory of those lovey eyes and chunky thighs that require every moment of your attention.
Until then, encourage the mommas of not just newborns.
Give them a pass on calling you, going out past dark, or having the energy to be a great friend. I give you a pass momma. I give you grace.
I know you want to call, you want to go, you think about your friends all the time. You want to be back to your old walking around without a baby on your hip, milk leaking, or the sound of crying. You want just 3 minutes alone in silence. I know.
Take care of yourself. Hang out with Jesus and let Him restore your weary heart tonight. It is messy but you are growing into a beautiful momma. Just beautiful. It is a slow, gentle process refinement. Don't let others blind expectations of you overwhelm you. You are not failing. The beginning is just a time where you feel like you are because this love is so new and bright and all-consuming. The schedules are unending. You cannot be everything to everyone all the time. It's okay to say no to others when you are overwhelmed. Be gentle on yourself momma. Grace upon grace. You just had a baby 5 or 9 or 15 months ago. The truth is, you and I will never be the same. I'm okay with that.
Until then, whisper Jesus.
"The bless you and keep you; the make his face shine on you and be gracious to you; the turn his face toward you and give you peace.” Number 6:24-26 A Priestly Blessing
Honestly with love,